As a sophomore attending La Cueva high school, in Albuquerque, New Mexico, I was enrolled in an honors geometry class, even though I had no honor, nor class, in regards to geometry. Most of the class was spent watching episodes of The Office, on my friend Brady’s engraved, black, iPod video*. He mentioned how he was one of the first people in Albuquerque to get one. In his mind he believed this, so it was true in mine. Half radio, half television, it was only good at like three fourths of those things. I don’t know if that math checks out, but as it has already been established that I’m bad at math, that’s the joke.
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A Haiku About Halloween Kills
Evil Dies Tonight
Haunted us for 40 years
Oh no, we’re monster
Tyler Cheshire Announces Plans to Watch an “Ass Load” of Movies This Weekend
LOS ANGELES, Oct. 15, 2021 /PRCheshwire/ - After another long week of writing cover letters, getting rejected from places he sent cover letters to, and polishing his TV Pilot, while ignoring his feature “Undicked”, Tyler Cheshire proclaimed he would be watching an, “Ass Load” of movies this weekend.
“Like Loverboy so poetically said in their 1981 classic, Working for The Weekend, ‘Everybody’s working for the weekend.’ I’ve always taken that lyric to heart,” Tyler explained.
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I Watched Movies in 2019 And Now I Have Thoughts
In no particular order here are my favorite movies of the year. I went through a lot of change this year so I saw about half of what typically see. That means I’m at 45 films that came out in 2019. Per usual, if it’s not on this list, I either didn’t get to it (yet) or I hated it. Obviously there’s no inbetween.
Uncut Gems - A rollercoaster ride that only goes up and eventually launches you off of it to your fiery death.
Parasite - Capitalism is poison, apparently so are peaches to a certain subset of people with a fruit allergy.
Ready or Not - Might be the best movie of the year. Certainly the best ending. Eat the rich but have fun while doing it. Samara Weaving is the deal (watch Mayhem!)
Ad Astra - Space, the final frontier to explore daddy issues. Dad Astra, Sad Astra, Mad Astra, but certainly not Bad Astra.
Booksmart - Funny, touching, relatable, and has an underwater scene with the perfect needle drop. That’s my catnip.
Shazam! - No, YOU have Mom abandonment issues!
Furie - What’s this? A killer action vehicle where the shitty mom admits her mistakes, seeks out her child, all while stabbing a lot of people? I imagine that’s a dream mom for a certain type of person.
Knives Out - What a snack of a film. Nobody does payoffs like Rian Johnson, so a murder mystery is the perfect genre for him. Daniel Craig’s accent is my kink.
Fighting With My Family - I have no idea what was going on with me on this day, but there was no movie I cried during more than this one. Florence Pugh is the deal.
Shadow - There are like sword umbrellas? There are sword umbrellas!
Midsommar - One of the funniest films of the year. I can’t hammer (lol) this point enough but Florence Pugh is the deal.
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood - This is me being optimistic that subsequent rewatches will warm me up to the film more than I currently am.
Crawl - People don’t appreciate a film that sets out and accomplishes all its goals. Crawl does it with ruthless gator chomping efficiency. Kaya Scodelario gave one of the best performances of the year.
Terminator: Dark Fate - I think it was a down year for big-budget blockbusters, and I was hesitant to see another Terminator film that also has one of the worst trailers I’ve ever seen. But damn, if this movie isn’t doing a lot of interesting work while also giving us Arnold playing a dude named Carl, the least believable thing in a time-travel, death robot, chosen one, series.
John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum - Headshots for Daddy.
MUSIC:
Playlist of my favorite 75 tracks of the year and the links from two different services to said music.
Spotify:
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3fUzGjzmj7XtPfn3B98Fjr?si=0OAyOjMCScqLL78Lubc58w